I’ve been reading a lot of self-help material lately, as you do, and every time I come across this idea that we are innately flawed simply because we are human, something inside me screams “NO!”
I read an article on Gil Alan’s site that begins, “It isn’t easy being human. We have chosen to be where others dare not go. To be human is to be flawed. It is the very nature of our existence.” The first thing to note is that there’s more going on than perfection versus “are we there yet?”
This inescapable defect is at the heart of duality, judgement and control.
Think about it. In most metaphysical conversations we are asked to love our wholeness while simultaneously working to change that which is out of alignment.
“I love you just the way you are” comes with the unspoken clause “once you figure out how to stay in the vibration of love, prosperity and happiness” which does little to bolster our self-confidence.
Why is nobody talking about how we came to believe that the inescapable makes us faulty? In other words, why is no-one asking where these assumptions come from?
Where do we start?
Deconstructing our biases sounds highly academic. I’m not sure that’s the kind of conversation we need to have. Nobody wants to feel their way through an instruction manual.
Thankfully, it’s possible to look at what we think-feel-believe-do, why we think-feel-believe-do it and how that type of thinking-feeling-believing-doing is cascading out into all of our experiences without getting too technical. After all, what we’re really talking about is making up stories.
For example, you know whether you think pain is good or bad. You probably have some concept of what pain is, and you even think you know what life would be like without it. But there are a whole heap of experiences that qualify as pain that you don’t think about when I say the word pain, and there are a whole heap of painful experiences that you don’t think of as good-bad along with the rest. It’s a matter of bias.
When we think pain or drugs or childhood, we have a box of stuff that presents itself. Usually, there’s a clear-cut separation from all the other boxes although sometimes a few items may spill over here and there. But when I say pain, you don’t think about boredom and embarrassment. Chances are you think about being punched in the face, giving birth and stepping on a nail. You know, the stuff that hurts. But pain is not a punishment.
Pain is a form of communication.
It tells you when to pay attention. It tells you that the system is in a self-balancing state and you have an opportunity to get involved, or not (and then there will be more messages – we call them symptoms, but they’re really just helpful invitations).
So what has this got to do with being flawed?
Well, if pain was a flaw, something innately wrong with us, it wouldn’t be a form of communication. Instead, it would be something that interferes with or corrupts important messages in some way. But there is no such thing as corruption.
Let me explain…
Pain is a language.
Some say the body communicates it’s needs through pain, but really there is no way to separate ‘the body’ from the communication itself. Life is a conversation that we have divided into many languages.
Pain is a language that we interpret as good or bad. The assumptions we make tell us how to respond – stop eating sugar, see a doctor, have a sleep, take a pill, end a relationship, do more affirmations, sit under a tree, start a business, et cetera.
However we respond, we are responding in the only way we know how considering all the information we have at this time in our experience. That’s all you can expect from someone. I mean, you can’t really blame people for something they don’t know, right?
Anyway, so you do the best you can and the universe maintains balance at all times taking all of this into consideration. So, the only thing flawed is… nothing.
Everything is working according to its specifications.
People are doing the best they can with what they have; senses are communicating what they can; all the other systems are working away like good little soldiers doing what they’re told. Where does the flaw come in?
Expectation! That must be it, right? Where we get it wrong? Where our flaws originate? The part of ourselves we need to fix, change, improve, educate, upgrade, deliver from evil? Hmm.
We see flaws where we expect skin to be unwrinkled or children to be adults. We see imperfections where we expect wholeness to appear in a particular way, in a way that we can fathom. And at this point, there are those who would surmise that the flaw is in our fathoming, but even our fathoming abilities are dependent upon the design and maintenance available at this time.
It would be unfair and downright anachronistic to expect to see a world without conflict when our assumptions are based in separation and opposition.
Separation = give-and-receive, duality, exchange, or anything that claims to act on something as if it were divisible by a boundary. For example, denoting the “self” as having aspects inside-outside, physical-energetic, or mind-body-spirit versus a holistic version that acknowledges if you followed yourself to the edges you would know yourself as All That Is in an everyday way.
Opposition = good-and-bad, higher-and-lower energies, better-and-worse outcomes, the list is endless. All the ways we judge and rank what isn’t happening and what we think “should” be happening. For example, believing we need to change who we are in order to manifest what we want versus acknowledging the power of surrender to who we are as a means of being present to ourselves as Spirit manifest.
Wow! Okay, so what then?
Well, let’s go back to Gil Alan’s article as an example.
He starts out with the ‘we’re all flawed’ bit but it’s not all doom and gloom. He goes on to describe his momentary experience of oneness where multi-dimensional reality made itself visible as a universal energy (as opposed to separate mental/physical/spiritual inter-action where people’s energy ping-pongs off one another and trigger reactions from separation) and how this vision allowed him to see ‘chaos and order side-by-side in perfect harmony.’
The article moves back into separation when he talks about the vibrational effect we have ‘when we learn to choose and live from a place of love…’ but what other language is there? And if our heart is set on oneness, aren’t we really asking for a way to fathom the language of separation and opposition without making it wrong (or right, or “are we there yet?”); a way to read other people’s behaviours and perspectives that keeps us open to the fact that this too is Spirit manifest?
Often when we seek a place of harmony to stand and look at what’s going on, we reach for an idea that puts everything into perspective. It’s our way of finding clarity, our way of being anchored to something beautiful that we trust more than all the illusions of the mind. Here we are again in our flaws.
Learning, reaching, finding, illusions… These are all ways we take ourselves out of the perfection of acknowledging that we can only be expected to act on what we know in this moment, and all other expectations are what? Unfair? Illogical? Unreasonable? Again, with the flaws.
So how do we comprehend what’s occurring first in our motivations, second in our assessments, and third in how we label everything from a place of non-separation and no polarities?
Let’s start with the obvious. Simply relabelling ‘war’ as ‘peace’ is not going to ‘fix’ anything if peace is in opposition to war. It’s opposition itself which creates the conflict. The need to ‘fix/improve/change’.
In other words, oneness is not about looking on the bright side or practising positive thinking.
That’s a relief. I thought for sure this was going to be another self-help ‘pull yourself up by your bootstraps’ pep talk. You know the ones that suggest you, “get out of bed and smile, smile, smile because happiness is a choice!”
There is another way.
Consider this, if all the people and systems are doing the best they can, then how can we judge them as inferior, on the wrong path, or tuned to a lower vibration than they “should” be?
At this point, I am reminded of that wise proposition ~ “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid”? Hmmm.
When Nelson Mandela says speaking to a man in ‘his language’ goes to his heart, I hear-see-feel the description of connection Gil Alan referred to in his article. A vision of how the universal energy manifests as our lives; our inter-actions; our consciousness; and our bias.
What does it mean to speak to someone in their language?
It means we assume that they are doing the best they can with what they have, and from that place of unconditional love our presence is not focused on trying to change, fix, or improve, but rather on how we can remain present to this moment as an equal and essential aspect of All That Is.
Okay, so if we all looked out at the world and each other (and back at ourselves) with unconditional love, what do you think we would see? Do you think we would see separation and war? Do you think we would see this faction opposing that faction? Do you think we would see disease and greed and manipulation? Or do you think we would see how everyone is doing the best they can with what they have?
And if we did see that everyone is doing the best they can with what they have, what do you think that would look like?
If we all knew there was no ‘looking out’ because we are already interconnected as Spirit manifest in every moment… what kind of experience would we be having then?
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash